Me as anyone else, I'm getting older and I've left behind little by little something that I've always liked: the videogames. In my heart I'm still playing something, but I'm not patient anymore to play games on my pc. So I've decided to write a little novel that has roots in the role playing games. Also I like ambiental music and I'm trying to combine the story with the music and I'm uploading by time to time a clip that inspires the story. But this is not all. I'm trying to make the story interactive, just like a game, and I found a simple way to have it working. You can find the rules on the right.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

(IX) Empty pockets

It passed weeks until the fever released me. I’ve found myself abandoned in a dark corner of this cave and totally alone without any knowledge of what happen to me. I’ve lost weight, I’m very hungry, and lots of items of my equipment are missing. My backpack is missing also and what’s left from it, is dropped around. After a short search in my pockets and on my clothes I’ve sadly discovered that I only have left a wire tide to my belt and herbs enough to make tea for a week. I’m in a very bad situation and I don’t know what happen and why. I took the rest of backpack and made a sort of pack. I wonder what happen to Oldie… Oh, my old friend… I feel that I’ve abandoned it. I just don’t understand anything. I remember when I tried to reach it outside, that day when was snowing like it was the last snow. I remember that I was heading out of the cave, but after that I’m totally blackout. As I walk now in darkness, I can only see some shadows moving on the walls of the cave. Are shadows of people, dancing because of the fire that lights them. My legs dance too, but because of my weakness that drowns me. The boots are heavier than ever, but I think that I should be happy that I still have it. I can hear some voices, but I can’t understand what those people saying because of the echo of the cave. I can distinguish a voice although. I think it’s Gaudo’s voice. He’s a good person, so I don’t understand how he could leave me almost to death. We have something in common - the survivor attitude. Perhaps he had to choose not to help me or he wasn’t here till now. The people talking are standing up arguing about a schedule or something. I remember that before I’ve fainted we were organized in teams for work. I guess I was transported in the deep of the cave since I was so sick. Now I can clearly distinguish Gaudo’s voice and he can see me; actually is looking to me. He looks surprised.

“Hi, Gaudo…” I’ve said. All the people gathered there saluted me with a few words that not even they couldn’t hear. “Is here a place for me too?” I’ve continued. “I’m frozen and I feel very weak”
“I thought you are dead” he started to explain himself. “Last time when I saw you standing up it was when you were looking for your dog, outside of the cave...Please, join us and take this bread. You must be starving.”
I took the bread and I’ve let myself to fall on a rock. My hands are trembling of starving. I probably look desperate for these people, but I’m not ashamed. “That is also the last thing I remember”, I said. “What happen after? Do you know something about my dog?”
“Well, the people were struggling to get deeper in the cave and when I saw you, you were running against the crowd. I have seen you falling in the snow and I came to help you. I’ve dragged you inside the cave and I’ve called for help. I think you’ve swallowed some snow until I’ve managed to get you inside. Those guys from our exploration trip, you remember them, helped me to take you here. You should be happy that you are alive. People were scarred that you and other few are sick and have a dangerous disease. Indeed, there was a small hunch that you among other three people who were with us in that expedition have a dangerous flu, and people were talking about banishing you. I’ve finally convinced them to leave you alone and let us, the expedition team, to take care of you. The condition was, unfortunately, to quarantine all the team. At the beginning the people were trying to get deeper in the cave, but after they’ve seen you, they preferred to try their luck working. Normally the children, women and older people should go on this side.
Now about your dog…Maybe you could bring it here, but then, it was already too much that we took you inside, so the dog didn’t get inside. But if your dog was enough smart, it should be alive somewhere now. All the animals were unleashed and sent to freedom, if you can say that. I’ve trusted in you. I was sure that your flu is not dangerous.”
He continued to tell me what happen in the last two weeks while I begun to warm a little. I’m happy that at least the dog didn’t die when I’ve felt unconscious and it was released to find its way. So the pariahs were also sick and they recovered them selves also, but I haven’t seen them yet. I guess that I own a lot to Gaudo. He would be my friend by now on; he and Oldie, if it is still alive. My equipment is gone because of the looting. At the beginning I was searched for possible items that might be infected. Because the clothes reserves are under minimum necessary, when I was searched, other people believed that I’m dead or close to death and I don’t need all my stuff anymore and jumped over me like crows. So, I have left only with my boots, a pair of pants and a cloth.
“I’ll get my self well in a week, I hope, and I will go after Oldie” I said after listening to Gaudo’s words.
“You must be mad or your flu is still powerful” he answered shortly.
“Help me to get some equipment until then and come with me. You will be safe with me, you’ll see. I know something that would change your mind.”
“I could help you to get some clothes and put you up for walk, but I’m not that young as you are and I don’t think that I can get too far. Also is my wife who is old just like me and she can’t walk too much” says Gaudo.
In front of these arguments I can’t fight. His wife takes care of orphan children when their fathers are out for their work shift. I’ll just start to get my equipment anyway.
I must convince him to come with me and also I need to find a way to travel safety with him and his wife too. I can make use of the herbs for a noble cause. I think that the things here will go even worst in a few weeks. I must use the herbs to suggest him that I’m a good person, which actually will bring the people to safe not to end.
But I must find a moment alone just with him.


...How is to be old ? You don't know until you really are old. When you are young or teenager, you say when you see an old man that he is so old. When you get older you don't say the same thing; the man you were saying that is old, now is not that old. That's because you get older and obviously, you are closer to your own end, or should I say it a little bit clearly, closer to your own DEATH. Is that what you are afraid of ? Is normal to be afraid of death. Also is normal to change your judgment after as you get older, even if is wrong. But the difference is between cowards and just scared people. As an old person you shouldn't blame the younger generation in order to find an excuse for your fears.