Through the dark I could see a few silhouettes which were moving around the campfire. Among them I think is Long Beard and Shadow. As always, Long Beard is speaking most of the time. I'll join them for a cup of coffee and to warm a little by the fire. Oldie slept near the fire, where all night was a person to watch the fire. Last night a few people were talking about their turn of watching the fire. They are happily to watch the fire although they can't sleep almost at all. Now I'm drinking my coffee - which is a gift from the 'shadow', who loved my tobacco. I let them talk and I hope they will not bother me too much as I'm not in the mood of changing impressions right now. When I'm looking at Oldie, I remember the little tree that leaves at the half of my way to the village and the mornings when Oldie was waiting at the door. I also remember its favorite spots in the yard, near the rock and the other one, near the home's stairs. I don’t know if it’s happy or not about this trip that we are taking now or should I’ve stayed home and leave its last days of life to end in the place where it always lived. Unfortunally, there is no way to go back until the spring. I wonder if it worth to travel so much and risk my life just for satisfying my curiosity. Another thing that I don't like is that I depend a bit to the migrating group. They’ve occupied the cave and I have to respect their rules at least. There area few months of winter in front of us and I'll have to adapt to their new cult, belief or whatever they are calling it. I don't think that they on a wrong way with their belief, but they are wrong about the person who they are expecting to encounter. This idea, of 'a malicious man with a dog' who wants to hurt them, is based only on a wrong conclusion. As I believe, people were gathered together by these herbs. These herbs are popular among all the members of this group. They've been drinking tea made with these herbs and they've made an exchange of thoughts during the sleep, in their dreams. Is possible that they had confusion and they all felled in this belief. Also is possible that someone is manipulating them for a reason. Obviously, I'm impressed about the dream that I had. This morning's dream was confusing; it’s content was a mixture of thoughts; some thoughts belongs to pariahs, other to 'shadow' and some other to people that were passing by the campfire yesterday, during the gathering. I'm cautious about any conclusion for the moment as I'm confused. I think that they are in the same situation and either they ignore these dreams or either they think that is natural. They are planning to form a small team which should search for other cave windows deeper in the cave. I'll join this team too, because I don't feel safe here with the 'shadow'. I will not let him know too much about me before I'll know more about him. This trip in the cave will begin today, but I'll have to let Oldie out of the cave, with the 'nomads' dog. I like how it sounds 'nomads'. It fits very well to the migration group after I've found out more about their beliefs and form of organization. Although they are in a run, because they leaved their homes frighten by that 'man with a dog', they are well organized so they could be called nomads too.” We leave at the sunrise", told me an old man who was brought by the 'shadow'. "Gather your stuff and be sure that you have water for two days in your backpack”. I’ve filled the can from the river and I've left Oldie in the yard with that dog that was here. It wasn't a problem to Oldie to show which one is the one in charge of the yard. I've left it there with some bad feeling. Not because is kind of abandoned; it’s used to stay all day long alone, but now it stays among the strangers; and that for two days probably. We’ve gathered at the campfire and started the journey.” My name is Gaudo", says the old man who was entitled to lead us through the dark of the cave.” Each of us will keep a torch, but only the one who is in the front of the group will have it lighted. The first turn will be mine, to show you what you will have to do when you will be leading. We will make stops often; the air around will be suffocating, so we have to rest often". I'm the last in the group and that means that when Gaudo will end his turn of leading, will come beside me. So far the cave is not impressing, but I'm satisfied that the path is clean and I don't have to jump all the time over the rocks around. After 300 steps from the campfire the cave began to shrink in height. None of us is talking; we all look as we are thinking at himself and his situation. After a while we had to rest and make an exchange of impressions. Nobody found anything interesting to the cave so far except some abandoned stuff which looks that belonged to an older generation than ours; a bad made of wood, a putrid rope, some cans and an interesting grill. The inhabitants of the cave abandoned all this stuff because probably it didn't worth at that time either. But the grill could be good to dry food, tobacco or what else it might be. Gaudo left the grill on a rock and told me to carry it. After the short break, Gaudo raised the last from a rock and followed me.” You know, young man, this cave is a waste of time", he whispered from behind.” We probably will not find any other window on the ceiling, except maybe, another entrance to the cave. The cave is shrinking and is not useful for the group.", he concluded. "I've offered myself to lead this trip because I'm probably the best guide for the wild. I came from a family with tradition in guiding through nature". He is taking short breaks between sentences and his breath echoes can be till the leading man.” Guiding is the only thing that we have left... I mean me and my family. I'm satisfied that we've joined this people in this journey to the north. We have to stick together if we want to win. I wouldn't could to defend my family and here it has protection. You know, besides the belief of our group, there is this form of organization. Step by step the group is raising its own religion and we are already organized in a military manner. I mean, we are organized just like the army, but we don't have rules yet except for surviving part. We have sentinels, guards, hunters, people sent to explore - like we are now for example.” ended Gaudo. His last words are boiling in my blood. I mean, all the time I’ve said that I am in control of independent, and now I found that I’m already part of the migrating group. Not as beliefs, but I’m already involved in the same actions with them.
After other few stops we’ve decided to stop. We don’t know if is night, but we can imagine because we are all tired.
SIDENOTE
...
Who cares about aging? Getting old is natural, but each of us gets old in different ways. I'm thinking that if I will lose my memories when I will be old, actually I'm losing everything. So all I need now is to draw on the paper my feelings. I will reconstruct my memories with these drawings.
