(VI) Campfire in the cave

We are approaching to the entrance of the cave now. I can see more people working as we approach. Although the last night was the coldest of this winter, people are out with their tools working among the trees. A thin layer of hoarfrost covers the leaves. Trees are naked by now. While walking, I’m thinking that my boots are so heavy, that feels like are made of tree crusty. We are walking silently, looking straight ahead. By time to time I can see sights rising from the soil to us. Is obvious that they’ve noticed me and my dog and they already linked the image of me and Oldie with that chunk of paper that leaded them here. People who joined the migrating group later don’t know about the pariah and they have been ignoring us so far. I keep my hands inside of my coat’s pockets. This way I lose my self in the landscape. “I’m not important, look somewhere else” – is my attitude right now. Probably when I’ll enter the cave I’ll encounter the first contact with them.
The result of my test from last night… I consider it a success; this morning I offered to the pariah a cup of juice of cone pine and they refused it without thinking. That was an innocent way to find out about the effects of the herbs. We are at just two hundred steps from the cave and I can see from here a small yard divided in two: the first one holds a dog; second one holds two horses. I know that around here is quite wild and the animals wander without direction. Also, there is a kind of a small stockroom with just a wooden wall that holds a few animals that have been hunted or trapped like I was yesterday.
I still have headaches. Unluckily, I was unconscious after I’ve been trapped and I couldn’t take care of the wound. If I could take a metal object over the place where I was hit, probably I wouldn’t have this bump on my right side of the head. I care in my pockets a few metal objects like this simple and small steel plate. I use it to heat food if necessary, as a mirror by time to time and sometimes I just crash things on it. I try to keep a side in well condition; otherwise I couldn’t use it as a mirror. I like it because it can’t be broken if I’m involved in some physical action and I can’t be injured by it.
Thinking at that dog that is held in the yard… Is interesting that they are talking about their revelation of ‘a man with a dog’ as an element that they should run, but this dog suggest something different – the man that they avoid might be among them. Or maybe not; the dog could be of any of them. I can’t blame a dog for everything. While approaching the cave, I feel that I felt a little in their belief. Until now, I was the one who said that they are away from reality and now I’m beginning to think us them; just like they are looking at me and Oldie.
Here I am, entering the cave. I think that from inside they can see our silhouettes only. Oldie and the dog from the yard have involved in a barking fight. Actually Oldie is ignoring the other dog, but it looks annoyed of that barking and barks by time to time too as it was saying “calm down, little boy”. The pariah group walks right behind me. They know that they are not welcomed here and leave me to have the first word. I’m walking slower now. I leave that dog to attract attention to us, so someone, who should be representative to the migrating group, would come to us. I know that somewhere around here is their leader. He is waiting for us. As they are organized, I think that they already have communicated our arrival.
“Come and join me”, says a man that appeared from the shadows. He said that, while heading deeper in the cave. At about one hundred steps from the entrance is a campfire. Above it, the ceiling is quite high and has a natural window, so the smoke is harmless to the inhabitants. A few people are standing around the campfire without doing anything. Ashes from the fire floats all over the place as it wouldn’t be gravitation. The man that invited me to follow him walks in the front of me. Is thin, has long black hair and moves just like a shadow. I and the group of pariah are making noises that reflect within the cave, but he doesn’t make any sound.
We’ve gathered around the fire and made a short exchange of sights.
“Take a cup of tea with us stranger”, says the “shadow”, name that fits perfect to his aspect. It’s fast. They didn’t leave me to think too much before giving me the tea. I don’t know if they have acknowledged about its properties, but I have to be careful. On other hand, is the pariah group; they’ve been drinking this tea last night and they might say about that.
“In exchange I can offer you some cigarettes. For those who are smoking”, I’ve said and I took the tobacco from Oldie’s “pocket”. Oldie is sitting quiet on my right. I’ve handed tobacco to “Long hair”, from the pariah group and he spread out to the rest of the people around the fire. We’ve made our cigarettes silently and start discussing.
“I’m a trader”, I’ve said,”I’ve been caught by the winter from behind a few days ago. Deeper in the mountains, the winter is ruling by now. I’ve left in a small shelter that I’ve managed to build, all my goods. The shelter is at about two days from here.” After a break, long enough to take a smoke from my cigarette, I’ve continued.” I had to choose between my goods and my safe. I knew about this cave. Actually I’ve been born and raised not too far from here. This is my first return in years. I’m glad that I’ve found you here.” I was lying very well. The “shadow” doesn’t seem impressed although.
I have to clear my mind because I have to start drink the tea. What I want them to believe? No idea, I will think just like a trader: where are my goods, what goods they have to trade and stuff like these. Now is their turn to speak.
“What about you. You moved here, or you are just passing by?” I’ve asked.
The “shadow” exhaled and pointed his hand to Oldie:” Your dog is too old for adventures like yours. “.
This attitude makes me feel uncomfortable. He leads the discussion in the way that makes me feel that I will talk when he wants and about what he wants. The pariahs have seen the scene and they’ve acted like they’ve already heard my story.
“I thought we had an agreement”, says the “shadow”, looking at my fellows. After a few seconds that were left silent intentionally before his next sentence, he continued:” What have you said about us so far?”
The three pariahs looked one to another and finally the long beard one says:” We’ve met not far from here. He was coming from the east and joined us yesterday…”
“They’ve told me that they are heading to the cave and as I was so hungry, I’ve joined their campfire”. I’ve interrupted “Long beard” in time. Pariahs don’t know about the effects of the tea and they might say or think something that I don’t want.
“We expect someone here”, says the shadow,” we don’t know too much for the moment about this person, but we will find out very soon more.”
He started to tell me things about how they are preparing for the winter. By time to time to time I was loosing his storytelling for studying the people that are passing by. They are living in a silent environment; they communicate just for helping their domestic work. Still, they throw a sight over me by time to time, and I think that that is normal.
“Most of us are sure that this trip have united us and made us conscious about our selves. We’ve left lots of unfinished businesses at home, but it worth so far. As we’ve got numerous, we’ve became more related with the environment. Sometimes I believe that the nature itself is part of our consciousness. While we’ve strengthen the relationship between us, we’ve needed to organize our community in order to survive, and that strengthen the relationship with the nature.” concluded the shadow.
“How do you manage with the food? I mean, the winter is at the door and there are lots of people to feed.” I’ve asked. For the first time I’ve seen a half of smile on “shadow’s” face.
“Some of us know to hunt, some of us worked within special military units from southern and they are trained for situations like our. So you see, we are prepared for long expeditions; surviving is not an issue; we are ready even for expansion, but this is out of discussion”. After throwing a few woods in the fire, he continued:
“As for the food…Inside the cave we can raise mushrooms. It grows very fast. Around here you can find enough animals to hunt, there is the river too and other resources, like pine cone juice, wild fruits that felt on the rocks and are dried by now…” He stopped as we’ve all noticed Long Beard being agitated.
“The pine cone juice… Is it healthy?” asked Long Beard.
“For those who believe that is healthy only.” I’ve said. I think I’ve impressed the ‘shadow’. He starred at me silently for a couple of minutes. I thought I’ve said something wrong.
“You can spend the night in the cave” told me the ‘shadow’ “and you three also”. The pariahs were satisfied about this permission.
The ‘shadow’ and his friends left us, me and the pariah, to eat. As the night has come, I could see the stars through the ceiling of the cave. Tomorrow I will find my answers for the expedition. I have a lot of things in my mind now. What do they know about the herbs? The ‘shadow’ is their leader, that is obvious, but he is not leading alone. What the pariahs didn’t tell me? What do they expect tomorrow from me? Am I the one who are they waiting for? I have a lot of questions. I better go to sleep and wake up early with a clearly mind.

SIDENOTE

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Years later after a war, people wonders what was the spark that fired up that war. We can't expect to change something with the answer to this question, but I guess it doesn't matter if the wars are started or not, as long as each person needs a war to solve a problem. The sad part is that some people are not ready for the war, or even worse, they've already had their war. The worst scenario is the scenario when a native leader leads other people after his life experience, needs and purposes; the other people have to adapt their plans to their leader. There is no reason to change something. At the beginning of the ages, the man was hunting, that is still in our blood, is like air to us. So why we would need an eternal peace ?!

(III) Rush...

I had a rush departure. The only thing that I’m worried is my equipment. I was hoping to take some mushrooms with me, but the soil was not ready yet. I took those herbs for tea which should be dried by now. Maybe I’ll find some mushrooms on the travel. This becomes a part of the plan now. Initially I’ve intended to have some food for the start while searching food for the next days. I already have two days of walking to the north, following those footsteps. This is not a good thing, to walk on the same road with the migration because obviously they needed food too. By now I have to adventure a little to the left of the road. There are some bushes that make me believe that I might find some plants or animals. Further on the right side is the river which has plenty fishes. Until I get there I will find something to catch the fishes and some worms. That’s why I keep this wire attached to my belt. Now I can use it to catch the fishes. Also I have a few different chunks of plastic bags. Last night I had a short sleep. Maybe three or four hours and in the rest I walked continuously. I have to walk fast this part of the road to the cave. There are signs that announce the winter and the snow. I can’t survive in the snow more than 4-5 days and the cave is at about 12 days of walk from my home. My home is situated in the plain, but is not far from the mountains.
Maybe I could survive more in the winter, but my old friend, the old dog, cannot. It looks happy. There are 3 days already since it’s with me each moment. I think that it got bored of staying so long time alone. Its fur is quite thick, that should protect it against the wind or snow. That doesn’t helping against starving. It’s not that young anymore to hunt rabbits or foxes or whatever it likes.
The reason of this rush is also my curiosity which moves the blood in my veins. The “smith” visited me that day and because I didn’t have something else to give to him in exchange for making me a can, I gave him a part of those herbs. Obviously, is not that stupid to accept this, but I’ve told him that the herbs have some magical effects and being in the influence of that cube that he found, he fell for this. But we had to test the tea to see the effects and I made once more the tea with the herbs not being dried yet. I thought that the dream in which I dreamed that I am the dog was just coincidental with the tea. But the next night I’ve been dreaming something weird again. In my dream I was standing on a tree trunk and I was the “smith” now. At a point I received a cigarette and the real me got inside the house to bring tobacco for a new cigarette. Meanwhile, me “the smith” I’ve got the cube from a pocket and roll it in my hands. I could see that on two faces is the image of a dog which looks like Oldie. On other two faces was a man who looked old. The last two faces of the cube had the thunder sign twice on each face. After a few seconds the real me has returned. We smoked together and talked for a while, but I can’t remember the subject.
When I woke up I felt dizzy and for a few hours I tried to clear my mind while playing with my dog. In the evening I’ve decided that there is no more time to prepare the expedition and next at noon I was on my path going to the “smith’s home to take the can.
That was the second weird dream that I had and now I have no doubt that is related with the herbs. The “smith” gave me the can and didn’t comment the day before at all. I’m wondering what did he dreamed, but that is something that I will not find out. I will test the herbs even more. I don’t know why this happens, but I think that the vapors are circulating and the effect stays until the person affected sleeps. This must be explanation and it gives me joy because it is a source of power on one hand, and something mysterious on the other hand. I’ll have to test it with someone close to me, trustful.
Last night I walked a few hours after dark, and this night I have to do the same. I’m thinking that if I walk more in the night I’m less time in danger. I don’t know the land here and I don’t know what animals, snakes or birds may lurk around. I prefer to walk in the night because is cold too and is not advised to sleep in cold. I could make a small fire, but that means that I have to gather wood and this can take some time. Also I could gather wood while walking, but this means waste of energy and I must focus on the food for the moment.
One thing that bothers me is how it will be the first contact with the migrating group. The footsteps never got away from the road, they walked compact. They didn’t left trails like garbage, camping stop or anything that would make you thing that something unexpected happen to them. That means that they are organized and for sure have a leader or group of leaders. If they were from something, probably they wouldn’t run so discreetly. That excludes the possibility to be nomads. Anyway, when I’ll reach them I’ll watch them closely before getting in contact.

While walking through this wildness I remembered my last way on my favorite path. Then, I was wondering how it feels my dog to be left at home all the time, and now is right beside me walking forward, and being so serious makes it look like it knows where is going and what is its purpose for this expedition. To make it feel that is important I’ve tied my tobacco pack at the neck. It’s not used to be tied or wear something, but because is old it doesn’t fight with things like this. It just knows that any gesture from me has a good explanation.A few hours ago when I’ve made a short break I’ve packed a couple of cigarettes. During the night, when I’ll feel that everything is darken and boring, I’ll take a cigarette, just to strengthen my will for walking. Then, Oldie will have its moment of rest. For sure it will rest its big head on its front legs watching the light from my cigarette. I think that it feels protected with that pack of tobacco tied at its neck. So I feel with my belt which has lots of things attached. It knows that after I take something from that pack that it wears, will follow a moment of rest, and the pack smells just like the air when we stop. I can’t wait to reach the cave; the cave with or without those people. I need to rest. These boots are sometimes very heavy, other times I just forget about it. Important thing is that I don’t have problems with the cold to my feet. At the beginning of the trip I could count each step that I make, now I just see my legs racing one against the other.

SIDENOTE

...

Sometimes I’m thinking how is to wake up and see that all the people you knew have vanished. When time is passing very fast you can’t keep the track of all events around you and when you have time to rest and remember you just think that you have waked and the loved ones and others too have just vanished. Then is a moment when you realize how short the life is and how small the purposes are that enchants you at one moment…

(II) Expedition plans

I should listen to that old woman that gave me the herbs yesterday. She said that I can’t find these herbs dried, so I have to keep it in a warm place for at least a week before making it tea. As I was frozen and enough tired, last night I’ve ignored her advice. When I reached home the old dog was standing at its usual place, behind a rock near the house. I remember it how it was a few winters ago: when I was approaching home it was just wild, jumping in the snow and running all over the place. I never knew why it’s so happy when it sees me, because I was at home just for sleep. But that always warmed my heart. Now it’s at its end. It walks slowly and heavy. So it was a bad idea to make a tea with those herbs. Was bad because weren’t dried and the effect wasn’t the expected one. Actually I’ve slept quite well, I feel rested and fresh, except that weird dream that worries me now. In my dream I was standing on the floor, where seats the dog usually. It was the evening when I was packing the cigarettes and I was looking at me as through the eyes of the dog. In fact I was feeling just like I was the dog. I felt as natural with a dog body as I am with my own body when I’m awake. I could see the scene of packing the cigarettes as clear as I could remember each movement of the candle’s flare from the table. When I woke up I felt as warm as I had dog fur. In some of my dreams, the things that happens looks like it happen before and I’m just remembering it. But last night it wasn’t like that. This time it really happens. I have one more cigarette left from that night when I was packing cigarettes. Yesterday I wasn’t in the mood for smoking while I was away from home. Is better this way, now I’m so relaxed after a one good sleep in weeks and it fits well with a cigarette. Last night I gave to the dog that bread and instead of water I gave it a cup of tea too. Either I was tired enough to have a deep sleep and I didn’t hear it barking, either it didn’t bark at all. Now because it heard footsteps is just playing around the house. It’s just hungry. The “smith” says that he’s interest in gaining experience in making different objects of metal. He thinks that he can sell it as art objects. That was the result of his expedition after the migration group. He didn’t catch them, but he found a cube made of metal lost by that people, which he thinks that is a religious artifact or an art object. He doesn’t show this cube to anyone being afraid that someone would want to steal it. He was afraid to take it and after he found it, he followed even more that footprints hoping to restore the cube. That shepherd that was passing around here says that are footprints of at least 1000 people, children and adults. They were traveling by foot, since there weren’t trails of any kind of vehicle or animal. It seems that they were hurry because they passed in one night only and they didn’t had a stop for rest or sleep as far the ‘smith’ was. As about my interest in the migration I think that is more smiths’ interest. He likes my dog and wants to use it as a muse for his first art object or whatever is doing. He said that on the cube is represented a dog just like it. Anyway I’m planning an expedition too and I have to complete my equipment before leaving. I’m not an adventurous person, but I dreamed since I was a child to see what is further to north. Rumors about north say that there is a cave where people who pass long distances can camp there. The “smith” didn’t go that far because he was prepared just for a 2-3 days expedition. Personally I think that he is also a little bit cowards to go alone. By the way I should ask him to make me a can for tea for the expedition, since he thinks that he can make objects of metal. Until I will be prepared to leave, the herbs should be dried and hopefully I will not have dreams like last night. The winter is close and maybe I should wait till the spring, but I will lose the track of those people. I want to know why they went hurried, where are they heading and other things. I think I will manage through the night in wild places. Except the usual animals I will probably encounter nature’s force. I’m a survivor although. I will have my dog as a companion. It will be its last trip perhaps, but it will be happy. I didn’t spend too much time when it was young and now it’s a little sad that it didn’t have the occasion then to show me how strong it is or to defend me against who knows what full moon. It will be useful now too. Its sense of smell or hearing will guide us in the wilderness. Today I’ll stay around the house. I have some jobs left to do before the winter. This summer I’ve made a small shelter where I’ll keep some food for the winter. I have a small plantation of mushrooms, but it has to be warm, so that’s my job today. A mushroom grows fast and regenerates very fast. I’m satisfied about this side of me – the surviving capacity. I never panic, even in dangerous situations. I know that if I can stay with a clear vision while others are losing their selves, I’ll surely have an advantage. Probably that’s why people respect me. Sitting in the front of house now, the dog rests after its breakfast. I’m stepping outside with the cigarette in my hand. After the last night’s rain the atmosphere is very static making me to feel in the center of attention. While smoking, I have a clear vision as a mountain stream and this probably is the effect of the tea. This picture, of the dog together with the wet rock from the yard looks different now when I’m not leaving from home. I can see what is doing my old friend all day long. The “smith” said yesterday that he will pay me a visit today if will be in vicinity. He’s searching materials for his so called art. I want to convince him to tell me more about that cube. I think that I could probably get answers from him in no time if I would use the force, but I prefer to be in peace with people around here.

SIDENOTE

...

Too bad that people can't have control over their mind while dreaming. I think that people would have tremendous benefits after that. People are just watching a "movie" instead of using their brain to gather informations.