(III) Rush...

I had a rush departure. The only thing that I’m worried is my equipment. I was hoping to take some mushrooms with me, but the soil was not ready yet. I took those herbs for tea which should be dried by now. Maybe I’ll find some mushrooms on the travel. This becomes a part of the plan now. Initially I’ve intended to have some food for the start while searching food for the next days. I already have two days of walking to the north, following those footsteps. This is not a good thing, to walk on the same road with the migration because obviously they needed food too. By now I have to adventure a little to the left of the road. There are some bushes that make me believe that I might find some plants or animals. Further on the right side is the river which has plenty fishes. Until I get there I will find something to catch the fishes and some worms. That’s why I keep this wire attached to my belt. Now I can use it to catch the fishes. Also I have a few different chunks of plastic bags. Last night I had a short sleep. Maybe three or four hours and in the rest I walked continuously. I have to walk fast this part of the road to the cave. There are signs that announce the winter and the snow. I can’t survive in the snow more than 4-5 days and the cave is at about 12 days of walk from my home. My home is situated in the plain, but is not far from the mountains.
Maybe I could survive more in the winter, but my old friend, the old dog, cannot. It looks happy. There are 3 days already since it’s with me each moment. I think that it got bored of staying so long time alone. Its fur is quite thick, that should protect it against the wind or snow. That doesn’t helping against starving. It’s not that young anymore to hunt rabbits or foxes or whatever it likes.
The reason of this rush is also my curiosity which moves the blood in my veins. The “smith” visited me that day and because I didn’t have something else to give to him in exchange for making me a can, I gave him a part of those herbs. Obviously, is not that stupid to accept this, but I’ve told him that the herbs have some magical effects and being in the influence of that cube that he found, he fell for this. But we had to test the tea to see the effects and I made once more the tea with the herbs not being dried yet. I thought that the dream in which I dreamed that I am the dog was just coincidental with the tea. But the next night I’ve been dreaming something weird again. In my dream I was standing on a tree trunk and I was the “smith” now. At a point I received a cigarette and the real me got inside the house to bring tobacco for a new cigarette. Meanwhile, me “the smith” I’ve got the cube from a pocket and roll it in my hands. I could see that on two faces is the image of a dog which looks like Oldie. On other two faces was a man who looked old. The last two faces of the cube had the thunder sign twice on each face. After a few seconds the real me has returned. We smoked together and talked for a while, but I can’t remember the subject.
When I woke up I felt dizzy and for a few hours I tried to clear my mind while playing with my dog. In the evening I’ve decided that there is no more time to prepare the expedition and next at noon I was on my path going to the “smith’s home to take the can.
That was the second weird dream that I had and now I have no doubt that is related with the herbs. The “smith” gave me the can and didn’t comment the day before at all. I’m wondering what did he dreamed, but that is something that I will not find out. I will test the herbs even more. I don’t know why this happens, but I think that the vapors are circulating and the effect stays until the person affected sleeps. This must be explanation and it gives me joy because it is a source of power on one hand, and something mysterious on the other hand. I’ll have to test it with someone close to me, trustful.
Last night I walked a few hours after dark, and this night I have to do the same. I’m thinking that if I walk more in the night I’m less time in danger. I don’t know the land here and I don’t know what animals, snakes or birds may lurk around. I prefer to walk in the night because is cold too and is not advised to sleep in cold. I could make a small fire, but that means that I have to gather wood and this can take some time. Also I could gather wood while walking, but this means waste of energy and I must focus on the food for the moment.
One thing that bothers me is how it will be the first contact with the migrating group. The footsteps never got away from the road, they walked compact. They didn’t left trails like garbage, camping stop or anything that would make you thing that something unexpected happen to them. That means that they are organized and for sure have a leader or group of leaders. If they were from something, probably they wouldn’t run so discreetly. That excludes the possibility to be nomads. Anyway, when I’ll reach them I’ll watch them closely before getting in contact.

While walking through this wildness I remembered my last way on my favorite path. Then, I was wondering how it feels my dog to be left at home all the time, and now is right beside me walking forward, and being so serious makes it look like it knows where is going and what is its purpose for this expedition. To make it feel that is important I’ve tied my tobacco pack at the neck. It’s not used to be tied or wear something, but because is old it doesn’t fight with things like this. It just knows that any gesture from me has a good explanation.A few hours ago when I’ve made a short break I’ve packed a couple of cigarettes. During the night, when I’ll feel that everything is darken and boring, I’ll take a cigarette, just to strengthen my will for walking. Then, Oldie will have its moment of rest. For sure it will rest its big head on its front legs watching the light from my cigarette. I think that it feels protected with that pack of tobacco tied at its neck. So I feel with my belt which has lots of things attached. It knows that after I take something from that pack that it wears, will follow a moment of rest, and the pack smells just like the air when we stop. I can’t wait to reach the cave; the cave with or without those people. I need to rest. These boots are sometimes very heavy, other times I just forget about it. Important thing is that I don’t have problems with the cold to my feet. At the beginning of the trip I could count each step that I make, now I just see my legs racing one against the other.

SIDENOTE

...

Sometimes I’m thinking how is to wake up and see that all the people you knew have vanished. When time is passing very fast you can’t keep the track of all events around you and when you have time to rest and remember you just think that you have waked and the loved ones and others too have just vanished. Then is a moment when you realize how short the life is and how small the purposes are that enchants you at one moment…

(II) Expedition plans

I should listen to that old woman that gave me the herbs yesterday. She said that I can’t find these herbs dried, so I have to keep it in a warm place for at least a week before making it tea. As I was frozen and enough tired, last night I’ve ignored her advice. When I reached home the old dog was standing at its usual place, behind a rock near the house. I remember it how it was a few winters ago: when I was approaching home it was just wild, jumping in the snow and running all over the place. I never knew why it’s so happy when it sees me, because I was at home just for sleep. But that always warmed my heart. Now it’s at its end. It walks slowly and heavy. So it was a bad idea to make a tea with those herbs. Was bad because weren’t dried and the effect wasn’t the expected one. Actually I’ve slept quite well, I feel rested and fresh, except that weird dream that worries me now. In my dream I was standing on the floor, where seats the dog usually. It was the evening when I was packing the cigarettes and I was looking at me as through the eyes of the dog. In fact I was feeling just like I was the dog. I felt as natural with a dog body as I am with my own body when I’m awake. I could see the scene of packing the cigarettes as clear as I could remember each movement of the candle’s flare from the table. When I woke up I felt as warm as I had dog fur. In some of my dreams, the things that happens looks like it happen before and I’m just remembering it. But last night it wasn’t like that. This time it really happens. I have one more cigarette left from that night when I was packing cigarettes. Yesterday I wasn’t in the mood for smoking while I was away from home. Is better this way, now I’m so relaxed after a one good sleep in weeks and it fits well with a cigarette. Last night I gave to the dog that bread and instead of water I gave it a cup of tea too. Either I was tired enough to have a deep sleep and I didn’t hear it barking, either it didn’t bark at all. Now because it heard footsteps is just playing around the house. It’s just hungry. The “smith” says that he’s interest in gaining experience in making different objects of metal. He thinks that he can sell it as art objects. That was the result of his expedition after the migration group. He didn’t catch them, but he found a cube made of metal lost by that people, which he thinks that is a religious artifact or an art object. He doesn’t show this cube to anyone being afraid that someone would want to steal it. He was afraid to take it and after he found it, he followed even more that footprints hoping to restore the cube. That shepherd that was passing around here says that are footprints of at least 1000 people, children and adults. They were traveling by foot, since there weren’t trails of any kind of vehicle or animal. It seems that they were hurry because they passed in one night only and they didn’t had a stop for rest or sleep as far the ‘smith’ was. As about my interest in the migration I think that is more smiths’ interest. He likes my dog and wants to use it as a muse for his first art object or whatever is doing. He said that on the cube is represented a dog just like it. Anyway I’m planning an expedition too and I have to complete my equipment before leaving. I’m not an adventurous person, but I dreamed since I was a child to see what is further to north. Rumors about north say that there is a cave where people who pass long distances can camp there. The “smith” didn’t go that far because he was prepared just for a 2-3 days expedition. Personally I think that he is also a little bit cowards to go alone. By the way I should ask him to make me a can for tea for the expedition, since he thinks that he can make objects of metal. Until I will be prepared to leave, the herbs should be dried and hopefully I will not have dreams like last night. The winter is close and maybe I should wait till the spring, but I will lose the track of those people. I want to know why they went hurried, where are they heading and other things. I think I will manage through the night in wild places. Except the usual animals I will probably encounter nature’s force. I’m a survivor although. I will have my dog as a companion. It will be its last trip perhaps, but it will be happy. I didn’t spend too much time when it was young and now it’s a little sad that it didn’t have the occasion then to show me how strong it is or to defend me against who knows what full moon. It will be useful now too. Its sense of smell or hearing will guide us in the wilderness. Today I’ll stay around the house. I have some jobs left to do before the winter. This summer I’ve made a small shelter where I’ll keep some food for the winter. I have a small plantation of mushrooms, but it has to be warm, so that’s my job today. A mushroom grows fast and regenerates very fast. I’m satisfied about this side of me – the surviving capacity. I never panic, even in dangerous situations. I know that if I can stay with a clear vision while others are losing their selves, I’ll surely have an advantage. Probably that’s why people respect me. Sitting in the front of house now, the dog rests after its breakfast. I’m stepping outside with the cigarette in my hand. After the last night’s rain the atmosphere is very static making me to feel in the center of attention. While smoking, I have a clear vision as a mountain stream and this probably is the effect of the tea. This picture, of the dog together with the wet rock from the yard looks different now when I’m not leaving from home. I can see what is doing my old friend all day long. The “smith” said yesterday that he will pay me a visit today if will be in vicinity. He’s searching materials for his so called art. I want to convince him to tell me more about that cube. I think that I could probably get answers from him in no time if I would use the force, but I prefer to be in peace with people around here.

SIDENOTE

...

Too bad that people can't have control over their mind while dreaming. I think that people would have tremendous benefits after that. People are just watching a "movie" instead of using their brain to gather informations.

(I) My path

Like any other day, I chose to go on this abandoned old road. You can't really say 'road' because is just two man wide and since I'm probably the only one who passes through here it just got harder for foot walk. It’s muddy and a bit kind of 'dark'. Anyway, this area is not that populated so you can't say that the other paths around here are roads.

Most of the people usually choose the other road because is safer, nice to walk and beautiful. Also is warmer because of the surrounding trees. I choose this one because is straight and shorter. Maybe I like this bad path because I like to be alone and hear my own thoughts. Just like now. The fact that I'm walking on this path means that I'm not hurry, because being a muddy path slows me down. When a man hurries all the time might become nervous I think.

These boots that I'm wearing right now are so heavy that makes me feel that I'm somehow strongly related with this path. The mud sticks to the boots and I slip a little. I have to stop to clean it a little bit. Although, I will walk until the only tree that grows around and I will seat under its crown. I know that it doesn't have too many leaves now because of the winter that closes each day and anyway it doesn't help too much - is not raining, is not hot and doesn't hides me from some angry eyes. I like this little tree - is so lonely in the field and looks like it grown there waiting for me. I think its hilarious that while people wear more clothes in the winter to resist to the cold, the trees are doing exactly other way - are getting naked.
Look at me. I was thinking that much to this road that I'm walking and half of it is already behind me. I'm sitting here under the tree on a root while cleaning the boots and counting the days that are left from this winter. Not because I wouldn't be comfortable with the cold. I don't give too much attention to the weather. I'm a strong person, I get cold very rarely and more than that I'm not that kind of person that the only purpose in their life is to feel comfortable. Is true, I'm wearing a quite heavy winter overcoat, but I wear this coat mostly because of its numerous and large pockets.

By the way, let's see my today's equipment. In my left pocket I have a forgotten chunk of bread - this one was given to me by an old woman yesterday on the other road. I feel remorse; I could give this bread to my old dog which starves while I'm away from home. In the same pocket I have different bread crumbs, tobacco, halves of matchsticks and paper chunks. I think all my pockets have these remains.

Walking forward now, I remembered the cold that surrounds me. While searching my pockets I found two "homemade" cigarettes, specially made for today last night. I'm not in the mood for smoking right now, my hands freezes in my pockets while handling the cigarettes. I remember the look of the dog last night while I was packing the cigarettes; it was standing with its big head resting on the front feet. I think that sometimes is thinking. I feel more close to my dog rather than other people. It's not afraid of anyone, although is old enough to be beaten by any other young dog. Those eyes that never hides their direction, turns with a straight sight and make the others to fear. It’s fearless and it behaves like a dominating entity. I wished that I could take it with me, but I can't leave the house unguarded. Lately, the wild animals in this area are quite starved and make lots of damages like spreading the garbage from the yard and wrecking my little improvisations around the home.

Back to my equipment... I have a kind of pencil, because I sharpened it as I could and looks quite weird now. I use it rarely and usually I mark some places that are a point of interest to me. Also sometimes I make some calculations related to my plans. The chunk of paper that I carry since a few months ago is real chaotic and I'm the only one who might understand it. A paper like this one can resist in my pocket about 4 months, after that is too depreciated. One thing that might look weird to other people, but they don't know about this, is the wire that I have tide to my belt. Luckily the belt is under the coat and can't be seen. I use it in many ways, but most of the time I use it to hang stuff to it. Also I have a short string that I have tide to my right wrist. This one looks like a bracelet and I use it when I can't use the wire. I have lots of "equipment" items - as I use to call it, but I'm not carrying everyday useless stuff. And I never leave from home without some items.

Lately, the fog gained terrain over the villages around here. The night comes early each day and the morning wakes up late. All the things are getting grey; the fog, my coat, the naked trees, the sky - which hasn't seen the sun since two weeks ago.

In the front of me lays the last portion of my path till I’ll reach the other road. Now I’ll have to review today’s plans. First I have to find some herbs that I heard that can ease my sleep. Some hot tea before the sleep should have a good effect on my dreams. At least I will warm a little. I will share it with my dog. I think that it deserves it after a day in the cold. By the way, maybe it will have a good sleep too. I’ve noticed that when I have an agitated sleep it’s also somehow disturbed. As it wouldn’t bad enough that I wake up tired in the middle of the night and then I find “Oldie”, as I call it sometimes, barking at who knows what. Weird are the dreams and so the sleeping. Most of these dreams are just an endless discussion.

After finding the herbs, I must pay a visit to that man who entitles himself “smith” for his discoveries related to the migration that passed a few hills from here this summer. He promised that he will tell me important things that I should know. I don’t know that I should trust him or not, but I have nothing to lose. His beard lies on his chest while is looking in the dirt – that happens when he’s talking about that migration.

SIDENOTE

...

I'm thinking sometimes, how is to think something that no one is thinking. How is to think at something and at a point you would find yourself screaming "Oh, my God, this is me !". So I was thinking to some locations in the world where people are so few that they hardly forms a village and the most important thing that ever happen on a road like this from the beginning of the story was the thoughts of a person which was passing once there. These thoughts that not even the thinker would think at their importance for that place that probably no one would ever care and are instantly forgotten and dropped on that way...